We could try a…what now? No. That sounds horrible. Don’t make me do that. [kisses her forehead] Are you insinuating that my mother’s ideas are shit? What a revolutionary concept. [snorts] As if I’d need to be drunk to get loud-mouthed about our sex life. It’s worth the wrath to see you get all red faced and embarrassed. I would gladly spend any hypothetical weddings of ours talking about that thing you do with your…well, you know. It’s your move. Private matters are too fun to be private. [laughs, pulling back just long enough to shoot her a look] Yes, I am. Consider that your snippet of ‘honest conversation’ for the year.
Mmm, but it sounds like a good idea. Maybe this time we won’t even be overheard by the twat Skeeter. [grinning] They’re complete shit. Your name is Sirius, that should be the first clue that she’s awful at coming up with ideas. [rolls her eyes and kisses him lightly, giving him a look] Shut up. I do not get red faced. I just don’t think people need to know about that thing I do, that I’m pretty sure could get you to do whatever I want. And it’s better to leave it private, so I’ll continue to do it. [smiles and kisses him for a second longer than before, trying to hide her expression] I appreciate it.
If I didn’t screw with you at all, how would we even communicate? Honestly, McKins, don’t be absurd. [laughs, pulling her back toward him when she pulled away] Just making sure. Merlin. It’s been almost four years, it’s about time I asked. For all I know you could be aiming to raise a small army of prime Pureblood heirs and using me to do it. I’m a very valuable lay, obviously. [grins] Yeah, but if you want the dishes to get done I suggest you do them every night. Just for future reference. As long as I ruined the photos, I’m satisfied. Actually, as long as I managed to get my hands on a stiff drink and watch you run around in a ridiculous dress, I’m sure I’m satisfied. [kisses her again, smile never fading from his face, voice muffled as he refused to pull away to speak] You’re aware of how bloody gorgeous you are, yes?
We could try an honest conversation, you know. Once. In our lives. [laughs and just rests against him, not pulling away again] Please. I have more self-respect than to screw up that massively. And I think a pureblood army sounds a little shaky. Sounds a little bit like your mother’s idea, and that makes me uncomfortable. [rolls her eyes] If you want any, you need to wash them at least once a week. And I’m still not speaking to you for that. And you definitely got drunk, you arse. Embarrassed the hell out of me talking about our sex life, you did. Private matters are private. [smiles into the kiss, not pulling back either] You’re aware you just gave me an actual compliment, yes?
Yeah, could probably be a good idea. Aw, why not?
Because I’ll hex your hair pink for the rest of the month.
You act like I couldn’t rock the pink.
Your balls would’ve definitely been at risk if you’d handed them to me in person. That was honestly the smartest way to go. [shivers, clenching her fingers on his shoulders] Probably so. Surprised I’m not pregnant, actually, with as much as we actually go at it. And that’s a…
I’d prefer if you didn’t screw with me at all, honestly. But seeing as I know you, it was probably a good idea to give me time to cool off. [Laughs into the kiss, pulling away and shaking her head] do you really think I’m stupid enough not to make sure I’m protected? I take the potion before I meet with you every time, and I take one the morning after. I’m definitely not ready for all of that [smirks] I did the dishes last night. And I wish you’d worn your bloody jacket for photos. But all in all, not too horrid. [Smiles and leans in for another kiss]
Oi, there’s a reason I didn’t walk up and hand them to you in person. Mail was the only way to walk away and make sure my balls were intact as I did so. [shrugs passively, raking his nails down her sides] Dunno. Quit reading it all, honestly. We’re probably meant to be getting married or pregnant or something along those lines. [sighs dramatically] Fine. Weekends only. I’ll keep some time open to bother you in between burying various victims. Yes stags before slags. Rule number one. Never question it. [scoffs dubiously] Come off it. I am not. How would that even be possible?
Your balls would’ve definitely been at risk if you’d handed them to me in person. That was honestly the smartest way to go. [shivers, clenching her fingers on his shoulders] Probably so. Surprised I’m not pregnant, actually, with as much as we actually go at it. And that’s a horrible rule, you know. I always question it. [grins] Because we;re married, remember?
Berk, would you like to train on that? not on my shin.
Yeah, could probably be a good idea. Aw, why not?
Oi, I’ve knocked off the winking ages ago…for the most part. Your wrath is a fairly convincing tool to encourage self-restraint. And I don’t need to give Skeeter any more reasons to accuse me of being a…I don’t even know what she’s going to come up with next. Honestly, I’m entirely over it. [pouts] What, no murder at all? Not even on the weekends? You drive a hard bargain. [snorts] Nobody said you had to be, love. Stags before slags. [kisses a trail down her neck, stopping to nip at her collarbone] I vehemently advise against it. According to the gossip rags, I’m already cheating on you and we aren’t even dating yet. What are you thinking, McKinnon?
Oh, sure you have. My wrath obviously didn’t do much to deter you from sending me galleons, did it? What did she accuse you of this time? [frowns] Is she making shit up again? I swear to Merlin I’ll hex her into next week. [grins at him] I suppose you could murder on the weekends, as long as you keep some time open. [shakes her head] Stags before slags? Really? [snorts] You are cheating on me.
I can’t be held responsible for any injuries or death that result from me causing the female population, so if you’re counting that as mass murder you’re sadly mistaken. The framing is more likely, though I don’t think they want to extend me the privilege of dragging their precious name any further through the mud. [laughs, shooting her a look before leaning in for another kiss, nipping playfully at her lip] I can’t tell you that. Marauders honor. No girls allowed. [laughs, looking over at her in their close capacity with a small smile] That’s just because you have an absurd amount of faith in me. A huge mistake, really.
Yes you can. If you’d stop bloody winking at them, they’d quit running into the suits of armor. They’re really not capable of being on their own, you know. [snorts] I think their desire to be rid of you for good is higher than their desire to keep their name unsoiled, but I’m prefer if you’d just stick to school and not murdering. [rolls her eyes] I’m not a fan of Marauders’ honor, you know. [kisses his cheek] I do. It’s a little scary.
Oh, shush with the “I told you so’s” [she sticks her tongue out]
[grins and flicks her nose] Really? Not possible, love.
Me? never, [chuckles] but really do you have to always hit the shin? you and your aim; I love it in Quidditch in this not so much.
Of course I do; it’s my signature place, you know. And I keep feeling like my aim is off, honestly.